He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This baby is an asshole
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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