i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
