Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
