Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Panties = found
Randomize
