Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
