i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
