LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
