Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
