ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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