I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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