I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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