Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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