From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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