It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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