Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
