After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
