I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
