"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize