yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
