My hand turned me down
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
