it hurts more in the daytime
She announced her abortion via fbk
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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