These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
