I think I am morally bankrupt
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
