wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
