no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
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Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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