I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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