guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
