I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
