you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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