You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
