I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
