I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
