I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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