I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
