Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
