Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
