she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
