Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
