This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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