Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
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i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
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My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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