Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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