In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize