remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Randomize
