YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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