thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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