You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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