Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Alive.
So much puke
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
