apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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