Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
