Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
