I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
