It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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