Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
