I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
