She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We left an ass print on the piano.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
