Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
