Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The Olympian is in my bed
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
