Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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