so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
