I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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