Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
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