i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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