try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How does one acquire holy water?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
