You don't have asthma, your pregnant
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize