Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
