i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
